I'm quite tired today. I-night tomorrow. Didn't really get a whole lot accomplished these last few days. A bit depressing.

I feel slightly directionless at the moment. I have so many things to do, and to be doing, and yet not getting any of them done. I join AV in two weeks, but I really want to finish Deck well.

I was given three days to do the lifeboat videos, during the time these guys are doing their training, to video them doing everything, basically.

Today was my last day given to do them. I've got the script of one of them done, 1/4 of the second script done, a bit of B-roll filming done. But none of the blocking done, none of the real filming done, and so, obviously, none of the editing done.

I'm VERY excited to go to AV. I really look forward to leaving deck. I don't know how it will be at all. Really weird. Kind of like being a kid, who was in school, suddenly being home-schooled, or something. I enjoy deck work, and too easily and probably too much see myself as a deckie, and a waterman. I am already doing video stuff and some AV programmes in my free time. I have so many ideas, but no way to play with them and try out.

Suddenly, it will be my job.

On one hand, sounds wonderful. On the other, slightly worrying.

Also I still have a problem really accepting that I will be joining AV. , even though I've had an official letter from Personnel about it, at last. I still honestly have a 80% belief that I'll be told "Sorry, someone is leaving, you need to stay in deck" or "Logos Hope NEEDS people, you're the only one who can go, even possibly. We don't NEED you in AV, we could take someone else, but if we don't send 2 deckies, they can't sail." Silly, I know.